"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that." ~ Robin Williams
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." ~ Robin Williams
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." ~ Robin Williams
"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." ~ Robin Williams
"There's no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot." ~ Robin Williams
"I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."" ~ Robin Williams
"Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself." ~ Robin Williams
"The human spirit is more powerful than any drug - and that is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter." ~ Robin Williams
"Seize the day. Make your life extraordinary." ~ Robin Williams
"If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem." ~ Robin Williams
"Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures." ~ Robin Williams
"If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference." ~ Robin Williams
"You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to." ~ Robin Williams
"Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself." ~ Robin Williams
"Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun." ~ Robin Williams
"You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars." ~ Robin Williams
"The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?" ~ Robin Williams
"Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me." ~ Robin Williams
"Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting." ~ Robin Williams
"The things we fear the most have already happened to us." ~ Robin Williams
"If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days." ~ Robin Williams
"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus." ~ Robin Williams
"Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."" ~ Robin Williams
"Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget." ~ Robin Williams
"I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself." ~ Robin Williams
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" ~ Robin Williams
"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"There are no rules. Just follow your heart." ~ Robin Williams
"The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery." ~ Robin Williams
"Ballet: men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are." ~ Robin Williams
"You know what music is - a harmonic connection between all living beings." ~ Robin Williams
"Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves." ~ Robin Williams
"You’ve got to be crazy! It’s too late to be sane, too late. You’ve got to go full tilt bozo... ‘Cause you’re only given a little spark of madness... and if you lose that, you’re nothing" ~ Robin Williams
"I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?' And I said, 'Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?'" ~ Robin Williams
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." ~ Robin Williams
"Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?" ~ Robin Williams
"Boys, you must strive to find your own voice, because the longer you wait to begin the less likely you are to find it at all." ~ Robin Williams
"There's a world out there. Open a window, and it's there." ~ Robin Williams
"When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me, "Robin, you need drugs to live." I realize now that my doctor is also my dealer." ~ Robin Williams
"If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell." ~ Robin Williams
"Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift." ~ Robin Williams
"Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never notice that this is a beautiful as it gets." ~ Robin Williams
"She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other" ~ Robin Williams
"Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~ Robin Williams
"Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death." ~ Robin Williams
"Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. 'I want it to be the way it was.' But if you continue the way it was there will be no 'is.'" ~ Robin Williams
"When you create you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that?" ~ Robin Williams
"I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund." ~ Robin Williams
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose." ~ Robin Williams
"And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!" ~ Robin Williams
"You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don't become stupid!" ~ Robin Williams
"It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you - when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead." ~ Robin Williams
"Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, 'Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.'" ~ Robin Williams
"Kid, if You Need Booze or Drugs to Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest, You're Doing It Wrong." ~ Robin Williams
"People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House." ~ Robin Williams
"If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary." ~ Robin Williams
"After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car." ~ Robin Williams
"I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole!" ~ Robin Williams
"They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons - because they installed them" ~ Robin Williams
"People say that I'm a tree hugger, but I do a lot more than hug trees. I like having my drinking water without faecal matter, that's really nice. Or acceptable levels of strychnine. I'm an air breather, I've gotten used to that over the years." ~ Robin Williams
"I try to make sense of things. Which is why, I guess, I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be." ~ Robin Williams
"There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for." ~ Robin Williams
"You're best when you're not in charge. The ego locks the muse." ~ Robin Williams
"You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer." ~ Robin Williams
"But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be." ~ Robin Williams
"Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth." ~ Robin Williams
"What some folks call impossible is just stuff they haven't seen before." ~ Robin Williams
"Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die." ~ Robin Williams
"What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference." ~ Robin Williams
"You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome." ~ Robin Williams
"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while." ~ Robin Williams
"To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple truth of that recognition. This has been the elemental drive of my existence, and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die with dignity." ~ Robin Williams
"The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit." ~ Robin Williams
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." ~ Robin Williams
"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." ~ Robin Williams
"Compassionate conservative. I don't know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack." ~ Robin Williams
"We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we're shopper-borrowers." ~ Robin Williams
"Politically, I don't care what party you're from, offer a point of view and let's see what happens and really debate the issues rather than use personal attacks. Really talk about it, talk about immigration, talk about education, talk about pollution." ~ Robin Williams
"For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see." ~ Robin Williams
"The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter." ~ Robin Williams
"My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is." ~ Robin Williams
"One day [when I relapsed] I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel's. And then that voice - I call it the 'lower power' - goes, 'Hey. Just a taste. Just one.' I drank it, and there was that brief moment of 'Oh, I'm okay!' But it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street." ~ Robin Williams
"The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that." ~ Robin Williams
"Even mistakes can be wonderful." ~ Robin Williams"Even mistakes can be wonderful." ~ Robin Williams
"A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven." ~ Robin Williams
"Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really." ~ Robin Williams
"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'" ~ Robin Williams
"Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!" ~ Robin Williams
"Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money." ~ Robin Williams
"Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?"." ~ Robin Williams
"Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air." ~ Robin Williams
"My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation." ~ Robin Williams
"Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love." ~ Robin Williams
"We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race." ~ Robin Williams
"Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks." ~ Robin Williams
"Comedy is acting out optimism." ~ Robin Williams
"If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there." ~ Robin Williams
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you." ~ Robin Williams
"When in doubt, go for the dick joke." ~ Robin Williams
"My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Not only was the maid very funny and witty, but when my mother came home I'd use humour to try and get her attention. If I made mommy laugh, then maybe everything would be all right. I think that's where it [my comedy] all started." ~ Robin Williams
"Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party." ~ Robin Williams
"Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon." ~ Robin Williams
"My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings. And a favorite book as a child? Growing up, it was 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' - I would read the whole C.S. Lewis series out loud to my kids. I was once reading to Zelda, and she said 'don't do any voices. Just read it as yourself.' So I did, I just read it straight, and she said 'that's better.'" ~ Robin Williams
"As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them." ~ Robin Williams
"Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone." ~ Robin Williams
"Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string." ~ Robin Williams
"To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy." ~ Robin Williams
"I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"" ~ Robin Williams
"If heaven exists, to know that there's laughs, that would be a great thing." ~ Robin Williams
"If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus." ~ Robin Williams
"You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter." ~ Robin Williams
"All you have to do is think one happy thought, and you'll fly like me." ~ Robin Williams
"Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny." ~ Robin Williams
"If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?" ~ Robin Williams
"Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure." ~ Robin Williams
"You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'" ~ Robin Williams
"Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it." ~ Robin Williams
"Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly." ~ Robin Williams
"I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church." ~ Robin Williams
"Compassionate conservative, that's like having a gun rack on a Volvo." ~ Robin Williams
"There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer." ~ Robin Williams
"There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People--they'r e kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.' My love goes with you." ~ Robin Williams
"I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way." ~ Robin Williams
"The sort of liveliness which increases with age is not far distant from madness." ~ Robin Williams
"In the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant." ~ Robin Williams
"But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." ~ Robin Williams
"Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers." ~ Robin Williams
"Be prepared for luck." ~ Robin Williams
"I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'" ~ Robin Williams
"Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs" ~ Robin Williams
"My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled." ~ Robin Williams
"I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out." ~ Robin Williams
"When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker." ~ Robin Williams
"My favorite is when you go to Afghanistan and you meet the special forces guys, and they look like these heavily armed surfers. These guys are the best. You see guys dressed as full Afghans, but then wearing a Yankees hat." ~ Robin Williams
"Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift." ~ Robin Williams
"Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone." ~ Robin Williams
"Bicycles are pieces of art. You get that combination of kinetic engineering, but then, besides the welds, the paint jobs, the kind of the sculpture of it all is quite beautiful. Bikes have such great lines, and all different styles." ~ Robin Williams
"You have to break in half to love somebody." ~ Robin Williams
"Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!" ~ Robin Williams
"Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish." ~ Robin Williams
"My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings." ~ Robin Williams
"Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother" ~ Robin Williams
"I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate." ~ Robin Williams
"I was in Iraq, Afghanistan, Djibouti, Bahrain. The first year I went pretty much by myself. Then I went with General [Richard] Myers, head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The shows and audiences were amazing. You'll never get a better group of people." ~ Robin Williams
"I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person." ~ Robin Williams
"I don't practice anything. I spend time looking over ideas and then just get out and do it." ~ Robin Williams
"You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand." ~ Robin Williams
"The great thing about marriage is the idea of really getting to know someone. And really getting to know a woman is a life long task." ~ Robin Williams
"I had my back waxed once by two women... and at one point they said, Do you mind if we take a break?" ~ Robin Williams
"Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species." ~ Robin Williams
"A lot of celebrities golf because they want to be away. For them it's a chance to get away and be peaceful. For me it's peaceful to ride [cycling]." ~ Robin Williams
"I love doing live action movies, but there's a great job in doing animation, especially one with music." ~ Robin Williams
"Cricket is basically baseball on valium." ~ Robin Williams
"Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore." ~ Robin Williams
"Reality: What a concept!" ~ Robin Williams
"I want to do a movie, but it has to be the right movie, whether it's independent or a studio movie. I'm much more open to being a supporting actor. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it." ~ Robin Williams
"You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running!" ~ Robin Williams
"All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful." ~ Robin Williams
"Death - to blink for an exceptionally long period of time." ~ Robin Williams
"Explore an idea until you've exhausted it, really go to all the different parameters of it." ~ Robin Williams
"If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block."" ~ Robin Williams
"We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that." ~ Robin Williams
"Improv. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running." ~ Robin Williams
"I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience." ~ Robin Williams
"The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!" ~ Robin Williams
"You look at the world and see how scary it can be sometimes and still try to deal with the fear. Comedy can deal with the fear and still not paralyze you or tell you that it's going away. You say, OK, you got certain choices here, you can laugh at them and then once you've laughed at them and you have expunged the demon, now you can deal with them. That's what I do when I do my act." ~ Robin Williams
"Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."" ~ Robin Williams
"To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world." ~ Robin Williams
"Make your life spectacular, I know I did." ~ Robin Williams
"It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time." ~ Robin Williams
"The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe." ~ Robin Williams
"The entire world will be in nuclear war, and only the Swiss will be going, 'what's that noise?'" ~ Robin Williams
"The idea of having a steady job is appealing." ~ Robin Williams
"After my training wheels, my first real bike was a Schwinn, and my first time out, I rode down a hill, didn’t know how to stop, and ran right into a tree. So, that was a nice experience ... like realizing, oh, there are brakes!" ~ Robin Williams
"I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people." ~ Robin Williams
"I love kids, but they are a tough audience." ~ Robin Williams
"The first time I ate organic whole-grain bread I swear it tasted like roofing material." ~ Robin Williams
"I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least Miss Right Now" ~ Robin Williams
"Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds" ~ Robin Williams
"The idea of the industrial fishing affects everyone. Those factory ships play this game of hit and run with the international fishing limits, and somebody said it's like hunting squirrels with a bulldozer. They pull everything in and they are only looking for certain types of fish and everything else dies and they just throw it back. It's like chumming." ~ Robin Williams
"But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever." ~ Robin Williams
"It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.' Because you have that initial warm feeling going, 'Oh, I remember this'. And your body does, too. And your body goes, 'Yeah, so do I'. Then the demon voice comes, 'Yeah, so do I. You know what would be great? You know we bought a little bottle before? A full bottle would be wonderful'." ~ Robin Williams
"My childhood was really nice. My parents never forced me to do anything; it was always, "If you want to do that, fine." When I told my father I was going to be an actor, he said, "Fine, but study welding just in case."" ~ Robin Williams
"Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person." ~ Robin Williams
"We were romantics. We didn't just read poetry. We let it drip from our tongues like honey. Spirits soared. Women swooned, and gods were created, gentlemen. Not a bad way to spend an evening, eh?" ~ Robin Williams
"I've never had a "hankering" to direct. I can perform, but I can't write on that level. I tend to go off on tangents. Directing also requires a kind of specificity and I don't have it." ~ Robin Williams
"I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster." ~ Robin Williams
"Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten." ~ Robin Williams
"You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no, actually if you take a break people might be more interested in you." ~ Robin Williams
"Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'" ~ Robin Williams
"I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing." ~ Robin Williams
"I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence." ~ Robin Williams
"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself." ~ Robin Williams
"The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff!" ~ Robin Williams
"2020. There'll be cold fusion. We'll actually be able to power our cars with our own feces. That's right. The emissions problem will be a little intense, but just light a match." ~ Robin Williams
"Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!" ~ Robin Williams
"Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. Once you step on stage you're licensed to do that. It's an understood relationship. You walk on stage - it's your job." ~ Robin Williams
""It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, [the alcohol] will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." He added, "For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."" ~ Robin Williams
"Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started." ~ Robin Williams
"I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means." ~ Robin Williams
"I did an event in Washington, and it was like we lifted a sea.Immediately after [9/11], there was a stunned shock - kind of this feeling of "What do we do now?" I started performing, and there was a catharsis in the laughing. People started to be able to laugh again. Laughter can be many things - sometimes a medicine, sometimes a weapon, depending on." ~ Robin Williams
"The dramas for me allow me to explore more behavioral, deeper psychological things. But the comedies obviously allow me to explore the idea of really working off other people. I'm having more fun doing that." ~ Robin Williams
"It's been a tough year. . . Someone said I should send out Buddhist thank-you cards since Buddhists believe that anything that challenges you makes you pull yourself together." ~ Robin Williams
"I thought I was fooling people. But it's the old thing of 'they say vodka doesn't smell'. No, not until you sweat. And you just lie and lie and you think 'I can deal with this'. And then you finally go, 'No you can't'. And then you give up." ~ Robin Williams
"When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence" ~ Robin Williams
"My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it." ~ Robin Williams
"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks." ~ Robin Williams
"Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night" ~ Robin Williams
"In down times I do things like go for a long bike ride or run. The other thing I'm doing in that quiet time is just observing." ~ Robin Williams
"How much more can you give? Other than, literally, open-heart surgery onstage? Not much. But the only cure you have right now is the honesty of going, this is who you are. I know who I am." ~ Robin Williams
"Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good." ~ Robin Williams
"Directing requires great discipline, that ability to be in and out at the same time. The great ones I've worked with are like generals. It's a bit like a small war on that level. The great ones have that combination of freedom and control. I'm nowhere near that. There's still so much to do as an actor. I have enough to explore with that." ~ Robin Williams
"Carpe per diem - seize the check." ~ Robin Williams
"Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma." ~ Robin Williams
"Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?" ~ Robin Williams
, it was a chance for a small kid like me to get a chance to wail on another small kid. I went, 'I love this.' The discipline of it was great. Plus, I really started to be good at it." ~ Robin Williams
"I got to ninth grade and there was wrestling, and I went, 'Wait a minute, this is fun.' Basically, it was a chance for a small kid like me to get a chance to wail on another small kid. I went, 'I love this.' The discipline of it was great. Plus, I really started to be good at it." ~ Robin Williams"I got to ninth grade and there was wrestling, and I went, 'Wait a minute, this is fun.' Basically, it was a chance for a small kid like me to get a chance to wail on another small kid. I went, 'I love this.' The discipline of it was great. Plus, I really started to be good at it." ~ Robin Williams
"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev." ~ Robin Williams
"With mountain biking, it's always that constant thing, negotiating singletrack, which I like, but for a road ride that rhythm is really Buddhist. When you get a good pedal stoke, it's that thing of everything works." ~ Robin Williams
"Just now when I said, "I have a crush on you," you didn't say, "no way loser". I'd rather have a lobotomy by a leper. That means something" ~ Robin Williams
"I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass." ~ Robin Williams
"A woman wouldn't make a bomb that kills you. A woman would make a bomb that makes you feel bad for a while. That's why there should be a woman President. There'd never be any wars, just every twenty-eight days there'd be very intense negotiations." ~ Robin Williams
"It's frightening and exhilarating. It's like combat. Look at the metaphors: You kill when it works; you die when it doesn't." ~ Robin Williams
"I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill." ~ Robin Williams
"The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material" ~ Robin Williams
"If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous." ~ Robin Williams
"There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?"" ~ Robin Williams
"Things that I see in the future. I see... it could be quite incredible if we can master a few problems, like the air and the water thing might be nice. I see governments dissolving these barriers are all falling down for economic reasons. They're all so interbound." ~ Robin Williams
"Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size doesn't matter, when you want some friendly patter from a pal who is true." ~ Robin Williams
"I feel like I'm a big human snot." ~ Robin Williams
"I just want to do movies, and I want to sell them. I don't want to link up with some product." ~ Robin Williams
"I prefer to be handcuffed at home. The idea of voice work to me is great fun, especially when it's a chance to do two different voices." ~ Robin Williams
"We were totally opposite - me coming from the West Coast and a junior college, and him [ Christopher Reeve] from the hard-core Ivy League. He used to be the studly studly of all studlies, and I was the little fool ferret boy." ~ Robin Williams
"A Pentagon official once said the people who would actually push the button probably have never seen a person die. He said the only hope -and it's a strange thought - is if they put the button to launch the nuclear war behind a man's heart. The President, then, with a rusty knife, would have to cut out the man's heart, kill the man, to get to the button." ~ Robin Williams
"Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio." ~ Robin Williams
"People would say I never censor. As Billy Crystal says, 'I don't have that button.'" ~ Robin Williams
"I never performed on drugs. That'd be stupid. It's the same thing with athletes. They can't perform when they have cocaine problems." ~ Robin Williams
"Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing." ~ Robin Williams
"We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities." ~ Robin Williams
"I have no desire to go anywhere near drugs. People say, "Aren't you tempted?" No, because of the ridiculousness of it." ~ Robin Williams
"My father retired to San Francisco, and I got a chance to know him and be around him. It's always been someplace where everything changed for the better. It's always been a home for me." ~ Robin Williams
"It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.'" ~ Robin Williams
"I'm fascinated by the new iPhone. I bought it and kept trying to use it in France. "Siri, what is a good restaurant?" (In a robotic voice.) "I'm sorry, Robin. I can't give locations in France." "Why, Siri?" "I don't know." It's like she was upset with the French or something. "They seem to have an attitude I can't understand. Should I look for Germans, Robin?"" ~ Robin Williams
"When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back" ~ Robin Williams
"No man is an island; but some are peninsulas." ~ Robin Williams
"My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist." ~ Robin Williams
"Cross-country running was so beautiful with all the trails and the lake regions ... very physical and also a bit spiritual, where you could come over the mountain and all of a sudden you'd see a Buddhist landscape fog." ~ Robin Williams
"We are surrounded by a lot of failed ecosystems; the moon being one, Mars, Venus. Theres evidence of water on Mars and rivers and it didnt take. Also, we have planets to guard us like Jupiter and Saturn that take the hits of the comets. It is miraculous that we exist on this planet, that it took." ~ Robin Williams
"Even when I did my Broadway show, I did 15 minutes no one had seen before, because that was the night that Michael Jackson protested about Al Sharpton bailing on him. I said, "Wow, if that man bails on you, this must be really a lost cause."" ~ Robin Williams
"Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card." ~ Robin Williams
"Shooting in New York is the shiznit, if I may be so bold. It was great. New York is a character. People who live here know that." ~ Robin Williams
"A place where we all go can't be bad." ~ Robin Williams
"Being alone onstage is like legalized insanity." ~ Robin Williams
"There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been." ~ Robin Williams
"You appreciate little things, like walks on the beach with a defibrillator." ~ Robin Williams
"I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge." ~ Robin Williams
"Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea - freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having." ~ Robin Williams
"You have an internal critic, an internal drive that says, 'OK, you can do more.' Maybe that's what keeps you going." ~ Robin Williams
"I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt." ~ Robin Williams
"Sometimes with a comedy it's just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it." ~ Robin Williams
"Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!" ~ Robin Williams
"We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!" ~ Robin Williams
"It's cheaper to keep her." ~ Robin Williams
"Sometimes, keeping track of people. It's always a weird combination of worrying so much about the outside world, and not... you have to be more aware of the inner circle, the folks that matter." ~ Robin Williams
"Never go to Pluto, it's a Mickey Mouse planet." ~ Robin Williams
"If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"" ~ Robin Williams
"As intellectual as we think we are, you still trip, we still have human foibles, sexuality, all the different things to still make you aware of your humanity." ~ Robin Williams
"I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'" ~ Robin Williams
"For a while you get mad, then you get over it." ~ Robin Williams
"When your spinal cord freezes up, you're vulnerable to everything. But he [Chrestopher Reese] was tough as nails. And he kept a great, kind of dark sense of humor about it, but also was able to accomplish amazing things." ~ Robin Williams
"Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down. Sometimes it made me paranoid and impotent, but mostly it just made me withdrawn." ~ Robin Williams
"In America, they really do mythologize people when they die." ~ Robin Williams
"It's great that we've got a compassionate conservative, but to me, that sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack." ~ Robin Williams
"What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not." ~ Robin Williams
"On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go." ~ Robin Williams
"What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified?" ~ Robin Williams
"I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal." ~ Robin Williams
"It doesn't matter who you are, if you've got the legs, you can hang with them." ~ Robin Williams
"Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums" ~ Robin Williams
"I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me." ~ Robin Williams
"When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in." ~ Robin Williams
"It's always great when you want scientific fact to get a really good science fiction writer to talk to you about it." ~ Robin Williams
"My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes" ~ Robin Williams
"If you're going to do a movie about the Village, it's pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in Toronto." ~ Robin Williams
"On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested." ~ Robin Williams
"If I ever asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked a woman and been totally vulnerable." ~ Robin Williams
"Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal." ~ Robin Williams
"I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open." ~ Robin Williams
"I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, "My boy's got learnin'!"" ~ Robin Williams
"I enjoy that, and the idea of doing small things over a period of time. I think there are certain things you can do for water control in America, because that will be our most precious resource. In America, you pay more for water than you do for gas." ~ Robin Williams
"Before the Web, there was just one guy running around saying 'I KNOW!'" ~ Robin Williams
"Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad." ~ Robin Williams
"Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then." ~ Robin Williams
"The world is open for play, that everything and everybody is mockable, in a wonderful way." ~ Robin Williams
"Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time..." ~ Robin Williams
"Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off." ~ Robin Williams
"Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?" ~ Robin Williams
"When you really do find a new idea or you're in and it's all working, that's the gift. It's like a musician when they hit a riff, that's when you're like all right, it's mellow. You back off and just ride it." ~ Robin Williams
"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason." ~ Robin Williams